Do’s and Don’ts of “working the room” at a Cocktail Hour

A necessary evil of business development is “working the room” at a cocktail hour or social. In fact, at a conference, I would argue that it is more important than the panel sessions because this is where meaningful connections are made.

Over the years, I’ve navigated numerous networking events, cocktail hours, and social gatherings. In the first few years of going to after hour events, I missed lots of opportunities until I became more deliberate– not to mention the awkward moments.

But I’ve also learned valuable lessons along the way. This blog is dedicated to sharing those lessons with you, helping you make the most of your networking opportunities. It’s goal is to allow you to make the most of your time at an event and harvest time to spend with your friends and family.

The audience is for anyone hustling to build their business, network and/or increase your exposure to your business or cause.

(A quick aside: These lessons were shared with the COMMIT Foundation when I was asked to share bumps and bruises along my journey from military to private sector. I started with a story.)

Storytime: The Birth of SkillBridge
Before diving into the tips I recommend, let me share a quick story that highlights the importance of persistence and bringing solutions to the table. Eleven years ago, I was speaking at an event, expressing my frustrations about the military transition process. In the audience, Congressman Bill Flores (TX-17) took notice and invited me to testify before his committee. My testimony and proposed solution played a small part in the early creation of the SkillBridge program, which now helps countless service members transition smoothly into civilian careers. This experience taught me the power of speaking up and advocating for change.

Do’s and Don’ts of the Cocktail Hour
1. Don’t Eat the Food
Why? You’ll either get it all over yourself, have it stuck in your teeth, or end up with greasy fingers. It’s distracting and can make you self-conscious.
Alternative: Have a drink instead, but don’t overdo it.

2. Position Yourself Strategically
Do: Stand by the bar or door where there’s the most foot traffic. This way, you can meet more people as they arrive or grab a drink.
Why? You’ll increase your chances of engaging with a variety of attendees, including potential key contacts.

3. Introduce Yourself Clearly
Do: Say your full name slowly and clearly.
Why? It ensures the person you’re talking to remembers your name, which is crucial for follow-up connections. It is also helpful if someone has mentioned them to you before. It will allow you to connect the dots.

4. Bring a partner if you can
Do: Bring a friend who knows the plan. If you forget someone’s name, your wingman can step in and introduce themselves.
Why? It saves you from awkward moments and keeps the conversation flowing smoothly.

5. Don’t Get Cornered
Don’t: Allow yourself to be trapped in one spot, especially near the speaker or during formal remarks.
Why? It limits your mobility and opportunity to mingle with others.

6. Set a Networking Goal
Do: Aim to meet at least three to five new people per hour.
Why? This ensures you’re maximizing your time and expanding your network effectively.

7. Always Have an Ask
Do: Be clear about what you’re looking for, whether it’s advice, a contact, or information.
Why? It gives purpose to your conversations and makes it easier for others to help you.

8. Greet with Familiarity
Do: Approach new contacts with a friendly, familiar expression.
Why? It makes interactions more comfortable and helps jog memories of previous meetings. As we age, we might forget folks but in the conversation, context clues might remind you that you have already met before.

9. Master the Pick and Roll
Do: Use the “pick and roll” technique to gracefully exit conversations. Introduce two people to each other and then step away.
Why? It keeps the conversation going and frees you up to meet others.

10. Use Marks of Distinction
Do: Compliment unique accessories or attire to start conversations.
Why? It’s an easy icebreaker and shows you’re observant and interested.

11. Prioritize New Contacts
Don’t: Spend the event with people you already know.
Why? Networking events are opportunities to expand your circle, not just socialize with familiar faces.

12. Avoid Looking Too Military (advice for transitioning military personnel)
Do: Dress in a way that blends with the civilian crowd.
Why? It helps avoid misconceptions and makes you more approachable.

13. Wear Your Name Tag Correctly
Do: Place it high and on the right side.
Why? It’s the natural spot people look when shaking hands.

14. Don’t Assume Recognition
Don’t: Say “Don’t you remember me?” or “We met before.”
Why? It puts pressure on the other person and can lead to awkward moments.

15. Do Your Homework
Do: Prepare by knowing who will be at the event and who you want to meet.
Why? It makes your networking more targeted and effective.

16. The Two-Door Rule
Do: Enter through the front, exit through the back.
Why? It allows you to meet your goals without feeling obligated to stay the entire time. Especially if you have a family and want to maintain a life outside of work.

17. Focus on Quality Conversations
Do: Emphasize meaningful interactions over trying to impress with rank or titles.
Why? Genuine connections are more valuable than superficial accolades.

By following these tips, you can navigate cocktail hours and networking events with confidence and purpose. Remember, the goal is to make meaningful connections and leave a lasting impression.

What are your favorite techniques?